Elon Musk is Buying Twitter. Here Are 15 Alternative Ways He Could Have Spent $44 Billion:

1. 10,000 Georgetown Townhouses

2. 7,028,753,993 Wawa Quesadillas

3. 955 Exact Duplicates of Arrupe Hall

4. 27 U.S. Presidential Elections

5. 1.2 Vermonts

6. 4,467,005,076 Wisey's Chicken Madness Sandwiches

7. 2,200,000,000 Rats To Infest Darnall

8. 110,000 Years of Reparations to the GU272 Descendants

9. 50,896,471 Wolfe-Ume Bar Tabs, Plus Access To His Bank Statements To Prove They Knew Nothing About Them

10. 143,869,209,809 Cans of Cheerwine (A 2-Day Supply For Our Editorial Team)

11. $5,866,666 For Every Georgetown Undergraduate, and and Some Raised Eyebrows at Wolfington

12. $16 Million For Every Georgetown Faculty Member

13. 17,600,000 Jack the Bulldogs

14. 25,958,702 Canada Goose Parkas

15. 3,397,683,397 Sweetgreen Salads

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Written by Carlton Zum Brunnen and Matt Shinnick.