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  • Writer's pictureThe Hilltop Show

McDonough School of Business Releases New School-Specific Mascot: Hedge-Fund the Hedgehog

In an attempt to not only improve intra-school pride, but also make cutthroat business tactics cute, the McDonough School of Business has announced a new school-specific mascot: Hedge-Fund the Hedgehog.

Hedge-Fund, who was adopted from a Ukrainian oligarch, has already built a noticeable holdings portfolio. He not only has a 13% stake in Berkshire Hathaway, but he also was recently chosen as CEO of Venturefind, an upstart consulting firm advising investors on which consulting firms to use.

Currently, Hedge-Fund is staying at the Georgetown Inn. However, Georgetown already has plans to tear down Darnall Hall to build the new hedge-mansion.

"I really think this will get more people interested in our school," Chairman Robert Steers told the Hilltop Show. Not only is Hedge-Fund a great role model for aspiring investors, but he is also pretty dang cute. Look at these rabbit ears we put on him. He's just the sweetest."

Hedge-Fund has also been advertised as a forward-thinking hog. He has heavily invested in Etherium, and currently owns three Lazy Lion NFTs, which has put his net worth above 78% of Americans. Hopefully Hedge-Fund will continue to see commercial success, as both a mascot and a ruthless businesshog.


Written by Brady Condon.

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